Why people don’t like estate agents.

It’s happening, and they only have themselves to blame… I am joining the “I hate estate agents” club. I’m sure outside of work they are perfectly nice people but once they step into their garishly branded car, first thing in the morning, they become estate agents. I don’t like to write negative things but they really brought this on themselves.

My reasons for developing my hatred are ten-fold:

1. I don’t like being patronised, I’m a first time buyer, if I don’t know something, explain it. Don’t make me feel stupid.

2. Gloating that every time something comes on the market it sells immediately, so you don’t have to do anything, makes me seethe. Play it down, make me feel like there’s hope and don’t rub it in that you’re getting huge commissions for doing nothing.

3. Stop sending me purpose built flats that are boxes, if I wanted to live in a box I’d have picked one up for free from Tesco and then I could live closer to work.

4. Telling me that what I want is wildly ambitious is rude; I think it’s an awful lot of money we’re spending and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a garden. I like the outdoors. Don’t shame me into feeling that I’m poor; we’re buying a flat, that’s a pretty big deal. Just because you sell million pound houses doesn’t mean you can act like a snob.

5. Don’t try and make us go over our maximum – we have it on very good authority we can’t afford anymore, are you trying to make us lose our flat once we get it?

6. Greed.

7. Keeping properties up online that aren’t actually for sale.

8. Forcing us to look further and further south, because, I’m pretty confident you’re over-valuing properties to take advantage of the insanely high demand at the moment.

9. Putting pressure on us and forcing us to make such a life-changing and costly decision within three seconds, otherwise everything will collapse around us, is unnecessary and it makes me sweat. I hate sweating in public.

10. General unhelpfulness and uncaringness. Just un-ness.

Normally when I vent I feel better, but I don’t. We are facing a seemingly hopeless market. An acquaintance just sold their flat for £67,000 over the asking price, just thinking about this makes me hyperventilate but, good for them, I’m glad this madness has worked in their favour. If this bubble is going to burst I kindly request that it does so soon, I can’t face looking at another studio flat worth more than a three bed, semi-detached house in Bournemouth.